The ambition of a mother

The ambition of a mother is constantly challenged by the passive aggressive behavior that can be equated with competition and the cattiness with which women consistently hold each other to higher standards that any man ever could. The method by which women consistently cut each other down and prey on the weak. It is the self doubt that women have that they feel the need to transfer onto others, which despite the fact that we live in an era where we will raise our daughters and granddaughters to do anything and be anything. We look at others and doubt. Doubt that they can handle all that they have taken on, doubt that they can afford that car, doubt that they will be willing to collaborate professionally.

I consistently see this in women I deal with of all ages, cultures, and backgrounds. Professional women, stay at home moms, women with kids, women without kids. I find this behavior coming from my own mother, and even myself. It’s contagious. Just when you’ve told yourself not to be judgmental, or be nice, someone starts up, at the office, the park, on the phone, and suddenly you’re caught up in the tornado.

I bring this up because when I step back and take a look at this behavior, it counteracts all that is good about what it means to be a woman in this day and age. It disregards the fact that if we could only manage to work together better, to pool our resources, to trust one another more willingly, we could be so much more. We could do so much more.

This mothers day, I want to acknowledge the influence strength, and love that my mother has given me. More importantly, I want to be the best role model I know how to my children. I want to channel my ambition to be more, to do more, to help others more into a successful career, not because I want to leave my family behind, or because they are unimportant to me. On the contrary, they are my world, my life, and my greatest achievements. They are also a work in progress, and will continue to be for many years to come. The best way I can influence, strengthen, and love my children is to show them that hard work, resourcefulness, and charity make us all stronger.

I won’t feel guilty for not being by their side 24x7, I know that they have a loving father that is there often times when I am not. All I can do for my children is to not be judgmental of other peoples’ choices in how they raise their children or live their lives. We all have our reasons, we all make our choices, and we must all be accountable for those choices.

What I have to show

Funny, I wanted to actually take a few minutes to blog this morning since I haven't in so long. Listening to my ipod here and trying to make sense of the latest Monday. As I started to type I heard "I don't have a lot to show for these years of hard work - if you look at what I own". Totally true of us - we're so in the red it's not really even funny. But, it could be so much worse. We are really so lucky - and we have these beautiful children to take care of. We have a lot to show for all of the debt :) - and they'll bring us so much more joy (and debt!) in the years to come it will all be worth it!